Friday, November 23, 2012

Old Crush of the Week

With great success which was our Throwback to Topanga, this week we bring you probably the sexiest of our Old Crushes, Kelly Kapowski.

Now some of you probably didn't know that the first season of Saved by the Bell wasn't called Saved by the Bell but Good Morning, Miss Bliss.  And there is a reason why many of you don't know about it, that's because it sucked, and after much research in the Null and Void lab, we have discovered that it sucked because there was no Kelly Kapowski.  So Kelly Kapowski (Tiffani-Amber Thiessen , it will be a cold day in hell when I start calling her Tiffani Thiessen), this week we salute you as our Old Crush of the Week.

I'm only with him cause he's the main character.
Kelly was pretty much if you mix every ingredient that makes America so great in a blender and weird science'd into a high school girl you would get Kapowski.  She was a cheerleader, she was nice and friendly, she had the most popular boys in school battling for her attention, and she seemed to be the salt of the earth.  The most important thing though was as we got older she got hotter, much hotter.

You'd have one of these under your bed if you could  too.
Through her years she meta morphed from the crush, to the cheerleader, to the poor girl who couldn't afford to go to prom, to the lifeguard(great summer season btw), and she was a pop star(I'm so scared!!)

Don't take Caffeine Pills, you will go crazy!

Then for some reason or another Kelly disappeared for a season and Tori showed up and well, lets not talk about it.  The question is would your rather see this:
I think you are gee golly terrific!
or this
Is this where the Indigo Girls cover band is playing?
Obviously Tori's parents were holding the president of NBC hostage, and he escaped because Kelly made her triumphant return a season later.  She went to Hawaii where her uncle owned a shack hotel that was going to get taken over by an evil "bro" and his cut throat business father(God I love plots of the 80s and 90s) and if I recall they saved the place by beating them in a limbo jet ski contest or something along those lines.

There is a reason Zack is smiling the most.

From there they headed off to College, and after going to school at a Community College, she was able to transfer to the school everyone else went to for Saved by the Bell: The College Years(There aren't any bells in college).  This all climaxed to a shotgun wedding which includes the following: Zack getting paid to go a date with a woman while with Kelly at the same restaurant, mobsters chasing them through a hotel, and special cameo of Jessie Spano in the last 5 minutes of the special.  
About damn time!

Since the completion of Saved by the Bell series, 1994, she hasn't been in anything of much significance besides 90210, Fastlane and lets not forget her important work in Dusk till Dawn 2:Texas Blood Money(an American classic if there ever was one).  Currently she can be seen on USA's "hit show" White Collar.
This picture just because!
Unlike our last crush Topanga, Kelly is still pretty attractive, obviously Tiffani-Amber Thiessen is no Kelly Kapowski anymore but she can still turn a couple heads in a room, especially if they grew up in the early 90s.

I don't remember those from Saved by the Bell.

Jimmy Fallon was trying to get the whole gang back together, besides Lark Vorhees being crazy, Tiffani-Amber apparently was too busy being unfunny to be able to come on his show.

No matter what she does, Kelly Kapowski will always be with us.  She was the hottest girl we "knew" growing up and memories like that don't fade or disappear(Tori).  Tiffani-Amber Thiessen wherever you are, you should feel proud that you molded so many young minds, and we thank you for being who you are.

One more, cause why not?

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