Friday, January 25, 2013

Old Crush of the Week

Getting back on the original intention of Throwback Thursday, we are turning the time machine back a little farther this week.  This week's Old Crush of the Week is probably ingrained into the hearts of most boys of the 80's.  She was all over the place in the 80's, but she was most known for her being the daughter of a maid.  This week we honor the original hottie, Samantha Micelli(Alyssa Milano) our Old Crush of the Week.
Hmm, I wonder... who was the boss?
Samantha Micelli busted onto the scene in 1984, damn I was 2 when Who's the Boss started, and that was one of her first and biggest roles.  For those of you who were born in a cave or Canada, Who's the Boss centers around a former baseball player who get injures and retires.  He then takes his daughter, and moves to Connecticut to become a live-in housekeeper for a rich woman and her son and occasionally her horny mother.  Yes that is a very believable plot if you watched TV in the 80s.  
Jonathan you lucky bastard!
During the shows 8 year run she supernova'd into an omega hottie of the highest caliber.  I really can't remember much of the show though, besides her hotness rising it was just 8 years of sexual tension and an Italian guy baking bread and cleaning who's only acting skill is being characters named after him.  Did I mention she was in Commando with Schwarzenegger.
Quit staring at my daughter you idiot!

                                                          And he was a governor too

Like any 80's teen she had to have a music career, nothing that you ever heard of because it was only ever released in Japan.  I am willing to bet that the majority of the CDs were probably purchased by old Japanese men.   Japanese men is there anything they won't buy with a cute girl on the cover.

This magazine cover is so small...
Like many attractive female TV stars she tried her hand at the big screen to limited to no success.  Here are the movies I remember her in off the top of my head: Poison Ivy 2, Hall Pass, and Embrace of the Vampire(Guys you might not know the know movie, but I am sure you have seen a scene, if you know what I mean...).  Oh and after careful research she was in Double Dragon as well.
The original Wild Things
Even though her movie career was dead on arrival she has had moderate success as a TV actress.  Even though there were big gaps in her career her hotness allowed her to land parts in such shows as Melrose Place and Charmed.  Now I have never watched either of said shows but the fact that she's making it, I respect that. She gets occasional roles now a days, nothing continuous, but she could be considered a reoccurring hottie.  She makes sporadic appearances on such hits as Kick Butkowski and Young Justice as Poison Ivy(Swoon).  I think what pisses me off the most is that these are animated shows, hot actresses on animated shows are a waste.  That's like trying to appreciate a steak from someones description of it.

The biggest waste is it isn't even the hot Ivy.
Bonus Point for pulling off short hair!
The best part of this is that Milano is like a fine wine, she really has getting better with age.  She is really all sorts of sexy.  Just looking on google images shows a plethora of her in wallpaper form.  Being that she has been sort of in the public eye since she was 12 and that she has been attractive forever she has dated numerous famous people.  When she was younger she dated actors such as Kirk Cameron, both Coreys and David Arquette.  Then since she loved baseball so much(suck it Hi-C), she started dating pitchers like Brad Penny and Carl Pavano.  She got tired of that and said she wanted to date some "real" guys, so she ends up marrying an Agent, and they have reproduced.

Ignore the baby, still hot.

Milano, the original hottie, has been a consistent source of staring for so many years.  Even though she was many of our first Crushes, unlike others she has retained her beauty and for this we thank her.  She still makes appearances on TV, and we thank her for that, but most of all we thank her for just being her.  And from this day hence for let her name be inscribed in the Old Crush of the Week hall of fame.  Alyssa, if you are reading this, which you most likely are, don't let a baby slow your body down, not just for us, but for future generations who love older women.

Possibly the mos 80s picture ever

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